Remember When
by Nina.4444
Summary: Everything's changed, will the team ever get back to where they were... terrible summary, will fix it later
1. Chapter 1

**Remember When...**

**Chapter 1**

"Please tell me we've got a case" Deeks whined as he walked into the office. Sam looked up with a small smirk while Deeks threw a hesitant smile to his partner before continuing to his desk. Once he was settled he looked up,

"So Callen? Case?" the senior agent sitting opposite him looked up from his paperwork before shaking his head and getting up heading towards the coffee machine. Deeks turned to his left and he and Sam exchanged a look before Deeks cautiously looked to Callen again taking in his stiff back. It was then that Hetty arrived claiming his attention,

"Ah Mr Deeks glad to see you made it this morning" Deeks nodded smirking,

"No problem Hetty it was the least I could do" he said smartly but stopped focusing back on the newest pile of paperwork that had been left on his desk.

"You wished to speak with me?" Hetty asked and Deeks looked up to see the only female of their team stand and follow Hetty up the stairs without so much as a glance behind her. He and Sam shared a confused glance this time and Deeks watched as Callen turned slightly only to see the two women climbing the stairs before he turned back around not really caring. Deeks sighed quietly before pulling the first bit of paper from the file.

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><p>"Ms Lange I ju-"<p>

"Hetty dear, my name is Hetty" the operations manager said interrupting the neatly dressed blonde woman sitting across the desk from her.

"Right sorry, Hetty. I just don't think that they want me here I mean Deeks and Sam barely talk to me and Callen he barely ever even looks at me" the woman said with a frown and Hetty simply sighed,

"Ms Wesley I know that it is hard but this team have had an impossibly difficult year, they just need time to adjust" Hetty said,

"It's been three weeks, almost a month" the woman cried exasperatedly,

"I understand that Helen but you must have some understanding as well. The team has lost a lot this year they just need some time" Hetty explained and the agent sighed before nodding,

"I do understand and I know that she was their friend, their partner but this...they are almost unprofessional. I'm surprised they're even working, how do I know that they'll have my back out there" Helen said and Hetty straightened up in her chair,

"Ms Wesley have you ever had any reason to believe that any of the team would let you down in the field?" Hetty asked sternly an eyebrow raised,

"No" she said quietly after several seconds,

"Then I suggest you do not make such accusations again" she said and Helen nodded and stood,

"I'm sorry Ms Lan- Hetty I'm just frustrated and tired, I'm sorry" Hetty nodded,

"I know, we all are, and I am here whenever you wish to speak as is Mr Getz. As for the team they will come around. You will gain their trust and they will accept you as a part of the team, until then you just need to stick it out" Hetty said and Helen nodded before turning for the door after thanking her. Half way across the room however she stopped mid step and swivelled around making Hetty look up.

"Did she have this problem as well, fitting in I mean?" she asked and Hetty automatically tensed.

"Sorry I shouldn't have asked" Helen muttered before scurrying from the room before Hetty could answer. The retired agent let out a long breath and leant her head backwards for several seconds closing her eyes. When she opened them her gaze fell on a small photo standing in the corner of her desk. In it stood her team. Well...her old team. Sam, Callen, Kensi and Deeks stood in the back line their arms swung around each other's shoulders. The woman standing between Callen and Deeks hung off their shoulders as she leaned forward to position her head between Nell and Eric's smiling brightly. The two technician's had been laughing as had everyone when Hetty had snapped the photo. She smiled slightly remembering the day. Almost two years had past since and Hetty shook her head thinking about how everything had changed.

Thinking back to their newest agents' question Hetty allowed a small smiled to grow on her lips,

_Did she have this problem as well, fitting in I mean?" _Memories flooded her mind of when Special Agent Kensi Blye joined her team. The three men on her team at the time worked as a well oiled machine, effortlessly they knew how each other worked and how they thought. Renko, Callen and Hanna worked fast, efficiently and had never left a case unfinished.

The director however had decided that four sets of hands and eyes were better than three and so he had been sending new agents to them for several months. Hetty had agreed to trial the agents, to see how they fit and if she had been honest even she would admit that she had been apprehensive at changing her renowned team. For weeks new agents would be sent out on ops, ops that involved Callen or Sam or Mike putting them under pressure. And again she had to admit that they weren't making it easy. Agents and agents tried and left until Kensi Blye's file arrived in Hetty's hands,

_She opened the manilla folder and held the photo in between her thumb and pointer finger. So far every agent that they had trialled had been male and she was slightly curious to see how the men would react seeing a female._

_Kensi Marie Blye 26 F_

_Daughter of respected marine murdered when she was 15._

_Ex fiance developed PTSD while enlisted – they have since separated_

_No family ties._

_On paper she was perfect. Not that Hetty wished for a young woman to have no family. But she did know that they made the best agents. Everyone knew. Especially undercover ones. _

_So Hetty had got in touch with the young woman who appeared polite but determined all at once and had set up the trial. She would be meeting a drug dealer by the name of Lewis Hamilton in a bar and she needed to get his name, what he was selling and set up a meet to bust them. _

_Callen had ended up playing the role of the drug dealer while Renko and Sam had made themselves busy in the bar. She and Eric along with Nate stood back at ops watching from the camera's they had attached to all of the agents clothing as well as from Sam's phone and the surveillance camera's in the bar._

_As Hetty watched Kensi Blye walk confidently into the bar she smiled slightly wondering if finally after weeks of testing potential agents they had found her. _

_Hetty had to laugh Callen was making it as difficult as possible but Kensi easily recovered from the questions he threw at her and evaded others. She sidestepped the corners he backed her in around her story and she effortlessly conjured up her own back story and past never missing a beat. By the end of the night Callen had no choice but to set up a meeting with her and Hetty could tell that the young man she regarded as a son had made up his mind._

_The senior agent knew that they were getting a new agent whether they wanted one or not. He also knew that the director was becoming impatient and sooner or later they wouldn't be allowed to test them any more they'd simply be assigned one and so when the woman perched on a bar stool next to him asked him why he'd felt the need to bring back up without even looking over her shoulder at Renko and Sam he had smirked towards her and looked to the men who shrugged with small smiles. It was then that he slid off the stool and leant towards the woman he knew to be Kensi Blye until his lips were millimetres away from her ear,_

"_Welcome to NCIS" he had said making Hetty smile widely and Nate and Eric to let out an over the top cheer chatting about their newest agent once they'd shut down the surveillance. _

Hetty smiled at the memory. No Kensi Blye had never had any trouble fitting in and she knew that she was going to have trouble finding an agent to replace her.

**First chapttter, please review and let me know what you think of it,**

**second chapter's coming soon!**

**Nina**

**xoxox**


	2. Chapter 2

**Remember When**

**Chapter 2:**

Nate Getz slowly walked out of Hetty's office and leant on the rusting railing of the balcony sighing quietly. He had finally finished his psych reviews and they were most definitely the hardest ones he had ever had to complete. Yes it was his job to remain objective and evaluate the team but the thing was that this time he could hardly be objective. He had been there with the rest of them through everything that had happened. He had watched the team fall and crumble and then build themselves back up only for them to struck down all over again. They had been through hell over the last year and a half and now they were left, broken and empty. They still worked, they still solved murders, they were still the leading team in LA. But now nothing was the same. And truth be told Nate should have written that they shouldn't be working. But they still held their own. They still knew they could rely on each other. Nate looked below and watched their newest agent for a moment. She was a good agent who came with a list of credentials and references but he wondered if she would ever really be welcomed here. He could empathise with her, he could see how hard she was trying and how she was getting nowhere; but he couldn't blame them.

His eyes then took in the rest of the desks; empty as they often were these days. They had all finished their paper work in record time. Hetty barely had to ever chase anyone up for paper work any more. Long gone were the days of late incident reports and an annoyed operations manager. Then again long gone were also the days of team nights and office games. For a moment he wondered where the others were and it was then that he spied Deeks rounding the corner his arms full of coffees. The man peered up at Nate spotting him like a good agent would and he nodded at him before placing a cup on Helen's desk. The blonde woman startled before throwing him a hesitant thanks. Deeks simply nodded before turning back around and retracing his steps. He knew that he was off to find the other half of the team although finding them was hardly difficult these days. Callen would either be in the gym or in the shooting range and Sam would typically be beating his boxing bag. He had lost count of how many they'd gone through.

He supposed the team was almost a shell of what it once had been. They had their moments, the ones where everything was normal. Deeks would throw in a joke or Sam would start his mothering and the team would laugh and for a moment they'd get a comforting feeling of normality. But it was always short lived and seldom happened. They knew they weren't whole, he knew they weren't whole and he wasn't sure if they'd ever manage to get back to where they were. Not after everything.

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><p>Sam's fist made contact with the torn bag as it swung back towards him. He felt a wave of adrenaline rush over him as he sent a powerful strike into it. He could feel the sweat running down his back and could only vaguely see other agents and staff of ops scattered around the gym. His head was pulsing but he couldn't stop he needed to get the stress out the worry, the anger. With another strike he heard the bag tear slightly more at the top where it was joined to the ceiling and made a note to ask Hetty to order a new one before this one broke and he was left with none. People came and went but he didn't stop, he couldn't. But when his partner walked into the gym, phone in one hand and the other clenched around the door frame Sam froze. But it was Callen's expression that sent a chilling jolt down his spine. He quickly crossed the room and when Callen spoke he felt his body freeze.<p>

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><p>Deeks had pulled back into the ops building driving down into the old abandoned car park. He sighed as he turned off the engine and looked towards the passenger seat. He let himself sit for a while before finally he reached over to pick up the cups of coffee in the cardboard holder and shut the door. Still even after this long he still felt a familiar ache grow inside his chest as he thought how he should be getting out of the other side after his partner had fought him for the keys and won. She deemed force necessary in those situations. Now he never fought to drive, his new partner didn't mind him driving and now he went on his coffee runs alone and barely ever picked up doughnuts on the way back. Not that those trips had usually been his doing any way. But he'd more than happily make a point of getting them if everything could just go back to the way it was.<p>

It wasn't that he didn't like his new partner. Helen Wesley was a good agent and she was alright he just didn't like what she meant. Because it meant that she wasn't here...that Kensi...their Kens wasn't there. Wasn't with them. Wasn't with him. It meant that their family wasn't whole and they were all feeling it. He wondered if this was how Kensi had felt when he'd arrived as the new agent replacing Dom. He shook his head ridding it of his thoughts and headed for the entrance to osp. He spied Nate as he walked in and then placed Helen's coffee on her desk barely responding to her thanks. He headed up the corridor towards the gym where he knew Sam would be before he headed to the shooting range where he would no doubt find Callen. But he stopped up short raising an eyebrow when the two men he was on the way to find rounded the corner ahead and headed straight for him.

He took in their deep frowns along with how tense they both were and he felt the panic building inside of him.

He stopped unable to move not wanting to hear what they were going to say. Not wanting to hear anything come from Callen because he was expecting the worst. They all were. And after this long no one could blame anyone. They had tried to keep their hope alive, to keep positive but even Sam who was the half glass full man had slowly begun to lose his. Seeing the phone in Callen's hand caused Deeks' throat to constrict and his chest to tighten until he couldn't breathe. Once the partners stopped before him there was silence for a moment before Callen opened his mouth to speak.

* * *

><p>G Callen held the gun steadily in his hands and stood completely still..waiting. When the first target appeared one bullet left one perfect hole in the centre of the head of the cardboard person.<p>

Four more bullets were used on four more targets. Not one was wasted, not one was missed and not one civilian was shot. Callen let out a breath before letting his arms relax and he placed his gun on the table beside him where the headphones lay. The ones he was supposed to be wearing but he didn't bother with them any more. The senior agent ran a shaky hand over his head as he let his body lean back against the wall and his eyes slid closed. He let the darkness comfort him and soothe his head ache.

But a moment later he stiffened and swiped his gun off the table slamming his fist down on the red button on the wall before taking aim again. Once he'd left the cardboard cut outs with another set of matching small bullet holes he hit the button again the sound reverberating around the small room. But he couldn't let himself stop because when he stopped he thought and when he thought he felt. And he didn't want to feel the feeling that thinking brought on. He couldn't afford to feel, he was sick of feeling like this, so he didn't which meant he couldn't think and he couldn't think which meant he couldn't stop. So he hit the button again.

Fifteen minutes later though the adrenaline built and built until his limbs ached and trembled slightly and Callen took a shuddering breath lowering his arms. He placed his gun in his pocket before he turned and stalked out of the room needing a distraction. He needed something to occupy his thoughts. To distract him before his mind went to the one place he didn't want it to, he couldn't have it go. He almost jumped slightly when his phone rang from his pocket and he prayed that it was Eric or Hetty telling him of a new case. When he glanced at the screen however he stopped mid step. It wasn't Hetty and it wasn't Eric, he knew exactly who it was. His whole body felt ice cold for a moment and in the next second a wave of powerful nausea consumed his body. Somehow he managed to raise the phone to his ear,

"Callen" he said and his steady voice surprised him. When the familiar woman on the other end of the phone spoke he felt all the blood drain from his face. Once he'd hung up the phone he found his legs moving on their own accord until he stood in the entrance of the gym. He reached out to grab the door frame to steady himself and hardly saw Sam until the man stood in front of him,

"G?" he couldn't focus though, all he could do was try and force himself to breathe. He had been waiting for this day for months and months on end. It had been eating away at him slowly destroying him and finally it was here.

"G?" Sam's voice was louder this time and in response Callen's gaze snapped up to his friends' concerned face.

"What happened?" he asked and this time Callen could hear the panic in Sam's voice. He knew what he must be thinking, what must have been running through his head. He knew that Sam was thinking that it was all over. After all this time it had happened. But it hadn't and Callen only just heard his own voice as he answered the ex-seal,

"Kensi's awake"

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><p><strong>Chapter twooooo, please review !<br>**

**Nina,**

**xoxox**


	3. Chapter 3

**Remember when**

**Chapter 3:**

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><p>Sam pulled up at the curb abruptly and Deeks who wasted no time in climbing out of the car flashed his badge to the parking inspector who waved them in. Sam and Deeks shared a worried glance as they shut the car doors behind them and hurried after Callen who had already gone through the front doors and into the hospital. They caught up with him at the elevators as he jammed his finger repeatedly on the button bypassing the receptionists who barely blinked an eye, recognising the men who had been coming and going as they pleased for seven months. All three agents silently cursed the elevator's snail like speed as it slowly climbed up the floors leaving them to wait, swamped by their own thoughts, frozen by their own memories and worries. She was awake. After all this time. The ding startled each off them and they pulled themselves back into reality as they stepped out into the familiar intensive care unit and headed for the reception desk. Before they could however a voice from behind them stopped the agent's in their tracks,<p>

"Callen!" they spun around only to be met with a greying man who was Kensi's doctor smiling towards them from where he stood by the doors. Once they were in front of him he spoke,

"I never thought this would happen" he said and gestured them through the doors that swung open with a swipe of his card before leading them into a nearby office.

"How did this happen Nick?" Callen asked quietly of the doctor. It was a long time since they'd been on first name basis,

"Unfortunately that isn't something I can answer with any degree of certainty" the doctor said remorsefully.

"She's asleep again now so you can see her in a minute" Nick said as he caught their hesitance to sit down, their eyes flicking to the door at the end of the corridor,

"Asleep?" Deeks asked and Nick nodded before explaining,

"She's been in a coma for almost seven months, it's going to take a good while for Kensi to adjust to being awake for long periods of time"

"But she was awake…you're sure?" Callen asked and they could all hear the caution in his voice. Sam and Deeks looked towards the doctor not daring to believe it either, not until they saw her. Awake with their own eyes. It was hard to imagine. Nick offered a small smile of understanding,

"Yes, Jo and I were in there doing a normal set of obs. It was when I checked for any muscular tension that she moved her hand. She was awake for several minutes and while she wasn't fluid she responded well enough for someone who's been in a coma for this long"

"So what now, I mean? What happens now?" Sam asked,

"She stays right where she is we've got a lot of work to do. She's going to need a high amount of care for a while but we need to get a better understanding of how she is cognitively before we make any plans"

"Hold on you...you talked about …." the doctor frowned in confusion as Callen trailed off and Deeks and Sam waited. The agent cleared his throat,

"You talked about brain damage?" Callen said quietly and the doctor nodded before sighing,

"I did yes and I'm sorry to say I can't rule anything out yet. She'll need to be tested when she's more awake" Callen nodded and Nick smiled reassuringly,

"Would you like to see her?" Callen nodded. He needed to see her, he needed to make sure that it was true, that this wasn't just some cruel joke being played on him. The familiar beeping of a pager cut through his thoughts and the doctor sighed once again,

"I have to answer this, head up there and just knock and check with Jo before you go in alright, I'll be back shortly" Callen, Sam and Deeks nodded, thanking the doctor before they exited the room and headed for the door at the end of the corridor. It was only when they stood outside that Callen felt a heavy hand lay on his shoulder,

"Why don't you go in G and check with Jo make sure everything's alright, we'll wait here for a second" G nodded at Sam's words almost mechanically as he just stared at the door. A moment later he sucked in a deep breath of air and pushed the door open walking in. Three steps later he froze mid step.

"Callen?" he swivelled around to see a woman in scrubs coming out of the bathroom with a handful of towels,

"Jo" he managed to breathe out before turning back to the woman laying on the bed. He didn't understand, they said she was awake.

"Jo, why..."

"She's been in a coma for almost seven months Callen she won't be awake for long at the moment" Callen nodded recalling the doctor saying the same thing only moments ago,

"But she was definitely awake" she added with a smile and he nodded before finding the chair that hadn't been moved from beside the bed sinking into it. He was silent for several minutes his eyes sweeping up and down Kensi's motionless body,

"I just thought...I thought I'd see something different you know. I thought something here would be different" the nurse nodded at Callen's words,

"I know but it will be I promise. The tube will be out soon, probably the next time she wakes up" Callen nodded knowing that he would be more than thankful to see the ugly plastic tube that had been placed into her throat taken away.

"You going to stay with her while I go grab her chart?" Jo asked with a smile and he returned a small one before nodding,

"You can still hold her hand Callen, talk to her. She might need it just as much now as before" Callen nodded and he felt his hand move towards Kensi's until he threaded his fingers with hers. Jo nodded and smiled before turning around and all Callen heard was the quiet click of the door. The nurse pulled the stethoscope from around her neck before sighing feeling her emotions roll off her shoulders. It was only then that she noticed two more men sitting in the hall,

"Deeks, Sam" she greeted them with a smile,

"You're welcome to go in if you like" she said but Sam shook his head,

"We'll give G a few minutes first" she nodded before giving his shoulder a squeeze watching Deeks drop his head back into his hands before she continued on towards the desk to find her patients' file,

"I'll be back in a minute"

"You okay?" the ex seal asked the man across from him once Jo had left. Deeks lifted his head and just shrugged before he leant back his head falling against the wall,

"I thought..." he couldn't even say it. He had thought the worst. He had thought that the news that Callen had been about to break to him had been the unthinkable words that they had all on some level been waiting to hear. It was cruel, nightmarishly cruel, as if someone was playing with them, toying with them. As if they were dangling her in front of them, making them sweat and they were waiting for her to slip away. For someone to steal her away from them.

Doctor after doctor, nurse after nurse had told them the slim chance that their girl had. From day one they had heard that she had little chance of making it. That they had little chance of keeping her, of seeing her again. A small smile grew on his lips and he rejoiced in the feeling realising that he hadn't smiled at Kensi, because of Kensi, to Kensi for so long. For too long. It was high time for it to happen again. Sam nodded understandably and the two knew they didn't need to say anymore. They had grown closer since everything had started. Since everything had changed among them. Since Callen and Kensi had changed and then their world had exploded, shattering their lives and stealing everything that they had known with it.

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><p><strong>I know this is short<strong>**but it's just a little bit so I can finish the next bit and hopefully post it tomorrow for you guys**

**: ) Along with some other things as well maybe : )**

**I've missed writing soo much and hearing your feedback, so thank you so much to all of you who has reviewed in the meantime.**

**Nina xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Remember When**

**Chapter 4**

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><p><em>Seven Months Earlier<em>

It had been an average morning. Callen had been late picking Sam up, as usual, and the latter had berated his partner all the way to the office only taking a break to try and convince Callen of the multiple freeways that would be considerably quicker. They bickered until they were both seated at their desks coffees' in hands and were glaring at Nate who had just handed them a stack of paperwork. Deeks had been the next to arrive and was much more vocal in his displeasure at the absence of a case and finally several minutes later Kensi had arrived greeting them tiredly before she too sat down at her desk beside Callen.

The lead agent's eyes were trained on her as she simply pulled a pen from the pot and flipped open the first page of the reports they were to be doing. Callen eyed her hands that were already shaking slightly and he wondered how many coffees' she'd consumed in the previous twelve hours.

The morning was filled with paperwork and not a lot else. When Deeks whined one too many times, however, Sam who was fed up with his own monotonous work sighed throwing down his pen and turned to the man beside him,

"Training?" he shrugged in question and Deeks was quick to nod pushing his chair out and standing up.

"G you coming?"

"Kens?" Deeks and Sam asked their partners in synchrony. Kensi was quick to reply shaking her head before refocusing on the paper in front of her and Deeks sighed quietly as she looked back down again. Callen's gaze moved to Kensi for a moment before he stood nodding to Sam and rounding his desk. It wasn't that he particularly wanted to train. He had been up at 3 o'clock that morning in the gym pounding the bag, and had the small cuts on his knuckles to prove it; not that anyone would doubt it. So while he didn't have any particular inclination to train he and Kensi hadn't really been alone since…everything. Sure they had several times with work but they had always been flawlessly able to separate on and off the job. That's why their relationship had never been a problem. It hadn't been hard for Hetty to overlook or the director once he'd actually found out.

The three men exited the room towards the gym Deeks asking Kensi quietly once more if she didn't want to join them but she declined sending him a weak smile. He had nodded before turning to catch up with the guys. Kensi had sighed watching him go and blinking to stop the wetness she could feel in her eyes from building up. She couldn't cry, not today.

Two hours later Kensi folded her report and stapled it together before sitting back in her chair. She picked at her nails for a moment peering to her work tray. Empty. Sighing, Kensi ran a hand through her hair, now what? Standing she quickly headed over to Hetty's empty desk and placed her paperwork down before heading back to her desk. Bypassing her chair she headed for the coffee machine pulling a cardboard cup and filling it quickly with black liquid.

Taking a few sips Kensi leaned back against the bench her eyes scanning the office. It was only several minutes later however that she felt the familiar tightness pull in her chest and she stood up quickly. There had to be something for her to do. After coming up with nothing Kensi climbed the stairs,

"Hey guys" both Eric and Nell turned from their screens smiling towards her,

"Hey Kensi how you going?" Nell asked watching her friend carefully,

"Good, paperwork all done, just wondering if there's anything I can help you guys out with. You're always so busy" she said with a wide smile.

"umm….well we're just running suspects through the databases at the moment, sending reports off and stuff, nothing urgent" Kensi nodded at Eric's words,

"Ok just checking" she said,

"Where's everyone else?" Nell asked,

"Uh in the gym. I'll see you guys later" she said quickly before sending them one last smile and heading from the office not seeing the techs exchanging a concerned glance. Five minutes later Kensi felt as if she could explode, her hands were shaking and there was a lump in her throat that was threatening to suffocate her. All in a moment she needed air and Kensi quickly headed for the exit stepping outside into the sunshine. She leant against the wall taking deep breaths trying to calm herself,

"Ms Blye" Kensi jumped violently cursing herself for not realising Hetty had arrived. Turning towards the woman who was watching her as if she knew all, which she most likely did, Kensi smiled,

"Hetty" the woman took several steps forwards before speaking again,

"I have a car I was about to get the mechanics to look at Ms Blye, would you like to have a quick look first, before I have to bother them. I know that their quite busy on other projects" Kensi regarded the operations manager for several seconds before she looked away blinking heavily as tears filled her eyes for a second time this time, however, in relief. She nodded at Hetty a small, genuine smile forming on her lips before she followed her back inside.

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><p>It wasn't until just after lunch time that Eric's whistle reverberated around the ops centre and several minutes later Callen, Sam and Deeks arrived in front of Eric, Nell, Hetty and Nate who was looking over some files at the table,<p>

"Where's Kens?" Deeks asked,

"Ah Mr Callen would you be kind enough to retrieve Miss Blye from the garage" Callen eyed Hetty for a moment,

"I can g-"

"It's alright" Callen said cutting off Deeks before turning and striding out of the room and back down the stairs. Thirty seconds later Callen entered the garage and was immediately bombarded by loud music which made him appreciate how sound proof the walls actually were. Scanning the garage for Kensi he quickly found her jean clad legs sticking out from underneath one of the cars. Turning to his left his fingers found the volume dial,

"HEY!" her voice yelled only slightly muffled from being underneath a car. Quickly rolling out from beneath it she sprung up, eyes blazing, ready to give whoever had distracted her work a piece of her mind. When her eyes laid on him though the words caught in her throat and he watched her for a few seconds as she collected herself.

"We got a case Kens" she nodded throwing the wrench that hung from her right hand to the pile on the ground and walked towards him. He couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips a moment later when she walked closer towards him. She frowned and an eyebrow arched in question. In response Callen simply raised his hand and ran a thumb over her cheek wiping the small grease stain. Beneath his touch Callen felt Kensi freeze and he quickly withdrew his hand cursing himself.

Several awkward seconds passed between them and Callen simply turned to pull the door open.

"Thanks" she said quietly and he nodded throwing her a small, hesitant smile before the pair headed back towards the tech office in silence.

When the two agents arrived back in the ops room Director Vance was already on the screen,

"Callen, Kensi" he nodded to them and they both returned the gesture,

"What do we got director?" Callen asked,

"FBI have been working on a case, a series of kidnappings. They got a tip off today about another kidnapping and where the man was being held"

"So why are we in on it now?" Sam asked curiously,

"Meet Sergeant Henry Gattows" the director said as Eric slid a photo and file up onto the screen of a young man in a navy uniform.

"Sergeant Gattows returned from Afghanistan almost eight months ago. He's a father of two and there's another one on the way. He's been missing for three days but his disappearance didn't fit the MO of the kidnapper so it was never brought to the attention of the FBI"

"So how do we know that this guy's got him?" Callen asked and the director nodded,

"A man, Gary Holdrom, an associate of our kidnapper was taken into the bureau's custody last night and questioned. He ended up spilling and we have the names of the victims and the location where the next, St. Gattows, is being held. The FBI want our help with their raid and apprehension of the men behind this. The director will be online with you shortly to update you on the plan, keep me updated" Callen nodded and the director cut the feed.

Within an hour Callen was shaking hands with the lead agent of the FBI taskforce his team behind him. They had been briefed of the plan and it appeared to be a relatively standard raid. The teams had easily gotten through the front door Callen and Sam opposite of where Kensi and Deeks were, backed up by several FBI members. The idea was to get eyes on Gattows before anybody started shooting or arresting. The team moved through the large warehouse their trained ears hearing the patter of boots on floors above them.

When they closed in on the main room Callen backed up Kensi while Deeks zig-zagged across the room to back up Sam on the other side. Suddenly several voices were heard and Sam and Deeks slipped backwards out into an adjacent room while Callen looped his arm around Kensi waist pulling her backwards behind a large shelving unit. The two of them held their breath listening to the men as they passed through the room,

"_Do you think they will come, should we move?"_

As the men passed several FBI agents moved to covertly follow them while Callen, Kensi, Deeks and Sam would go on. Waiting for them to be out of earshot Callen looked down as he became acutely aware of the woman that was so close he could feel the heat radiating from her skin and the ticklish wisps from her pony tail which sat just beneath his chin. His arm was still circled around her waist and she was standing flush against his chest. A glint of gold caught his eye as she turned slightly and his breath caught in his chest. His eyes followed down the thin gold chain which curved over her collarbone but had flung out from beneath her shirt when he had pulled her towards him. On the end of the chain sat a small, gold ring and Callen felt a lump form in his throat and he couldn't look away. He hardly noticed as Kensi gently edged out from behind the shelves but when she looked back towards him she frowned before looking down.

A shocked expression contorted her focused features when she realised what he was focused on, what he had seen, what he hadn't been supposed to see. She had fastened the chain around her neck the day that the ring had come off her finger and it was yet to be taken off, even once.

Kensi closed her eyes for only a moment before she turned burying the necklace back beneath her shirt. She quickly moved back to the left of the room where her partner was and Callen shaking himself out of the shock that was still wearing off he moved towards Sam who threw him a questioning glance. And as Callen moved out into the hall going left behind Sam he felt a weight in his pocket that he knew was caused by a weightless band of gold while it's matching other half went right.

Sam and Callen cleared the western rooms and doubled back on themselves knowing that their missing sergeant must be on the side of the building Kensi and Deeks had gone to clear. They were almost just back where they started when several FBI agents made their way back out the door,

"What's going on?" Sam asked in confusion and Callen shook his head,

"Eric?" Callen asked as one of the men gestured them outside,

"Hold on" Eric muttered distractedly and they could hear the clicks of Eric's fingers whizzing across the keyboard. Both Sam and Callen were quickly alarmed when Eric spoke next the urgency and distress in his voice putting them on high alert,

"Crap, guys there's explosives on the floor up. It's a trap, it's all a trap, get out of there now!" Sam bit out a curse and Callen grabbed their equipment before they turned and headed back out of the building into the sunlight. They quickly headed for cover and they'd just slid behind the trees as they felt the building shudder from behind them.

"Where's Kensi and Deeks?" Callen asked his eyes scanning the land for his agents,

"Kensi, Deeks…status?" Sam repeated loudly, jamming his earwig further into his ear as if it would help him hear better,

"Kensi! Deeks!" it was Eric who answered them this time,

"Guys I've lost connection with them, I can't get it back. Their camera's are out too" Eric said not sounding any calmer. With one glance to his partner Callen took off towards the opposite side of the building but both men were forced to take cover when a deafening explosion rocked the ground around them. Seconds later however both men were back up sprinting towards the building weaving between other agents and cops running the opposite way for cover.

When they rounded the corner of the crumbling building they spied Deeks on the ground clutching his side which they could see even from a distance was stained red. He struggled to get to his feet and Callen and Sam heard her name rip from the detectives throat the sound striking fear into them,

"Kensi!" Deeks yelled his voice filled with horror and panic. When they got to him Sam's hands went to Deeks' shoulders and he pushed him to the ground careful to avoid the multiple bloody areas on the mans' shirt. Callen, on the other hand, hadn't stopped instead he continued running straight down the steep hill. His feet found crevices and rocks to stabilise himself on but all he was worried about was getting to her. He had to get to her. He could see the blood, it was already beginning to seep into her shirt and stain the material. She wasn't moving simply lying face down in the dirt and it scared him. To see her motionless, to see her like that.

He barely heard Eric's voice in his ear telling them that the ambulance was on the way or Sam's voice behind him ordering Deeks to stay where he was. His knees hit ground hard and he carefully turned Kensi over. Her pulse was weak, slow and thready but it was there and she was breathing. Callen got to work checking Kensi's body for the worst wounds, there was so much blood. Moments later his partner landed on his knees beside him and he heard the man let out a second curse for the day as he took in the woman before them. Callen's hands continued to work. He pressed on her stomach and pulled the belt from his own jeans tighter around her leg that was losing far too much blood, far too fast. Looking back to her face his chest constricted as he took in how pale she was,

"Kens, come on please, just stay with me Kens" he said his hand pushing her hair back off her face while Sam began to put pressure on the bleeding from her stomach.

"Kensi love please" he pleaded feeling the panic build inside of him as his hand twitched when he felt her cold skin. Sam paused only for a microsecond at hearing the endearment. It was so natural and so wrong all at once. There were voices behind them, yelling, screaming and sirens. Somewhere in the distance there were sirens. Other officers, NCIS, FBI or LAPD they didn't know all they could focus on was the colour of Kensi's almost transparent skin and the harsh colour of the frank, red blood staining it.

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><p><strong>Hey guys,<strong>

**SO I haven't updated this story in forever, I'm finding it kind of hard to write because I planned it so …messy, for lack of a better word. But I'll keep going and hopefully you guys will like it thankyou to everyone for the reviews I have been receiving so so so very much! **

**Let me know what you think! Thanks!**

**Nina xx**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Remember When**_

_**Chapter 5**_

_Seven Months Earlier_

"Mr Callen"

"Mr Callen?"

A hand on his shoulder caused Callen to flinch from where he sat and he turned taking in the woman behind him and cursing himself for not realising her presence. She looked vaguely familiar but then again so did many of the hospital staff. He hated hospitals, always had, always would, he hated them nearly as much as Kensi did. And yet for some reason he was being forced to spend a lot of time in them.

He shivered but forcefully pushed the thoughts that were beginning to creep back into his mind and focused on the woman only to notice a small plastic bag in her hands. His brow creased and a lump grew in his throat to the point of suffocation, he knew what it was, he had been handed the same package just over five months ago,

"Hi I'm Jo, would you rather hold onto Mrs Callen's things or would you like us to keep them here for her?" the nurse asked gently and Callen sucked in a breath at hearing her words. Mrs Callen. It wasn't that Kensi never used the name, but he was still used to hearing her called Ms Blye, Agent Blye. Mostly because of Hetty and he hadn't heard the other option once in over five months.

He missed it?

Yes, of course he did. Every single day, every single day he wished they could go back. Go back to when they were happy, to when they were both the happiest they'd ever been. Ever. Go back to when they were ignorant of the tragedy, of the devastation that was looming in the future, the destruction that would tear them apart and rip away everything they held close, everything that mattered to them until they were left with nothing. Until they only had each other, until not even that was enough.

Callen pulled himself out of his thoughts quickly, before they completely spiralled out of control. Before he got to the one place he couldn't go, the one place he didn't want to be, he couldn't control. He clutched the cold bed rail tightly as he fought the strong urge building within him to run. He didn't want to be there and a part of him couldn't, he couldn't be here. Not again. But he couldn't move, not away from her. He couldn't leave her, not now, not here, and she couldn't leave him, he couldn't lose her. Callen clamped his eyes closed as if he could shut away the thoughts, ignoring them.

He wondered why they'd bothered putting the bed rails up as he pushed his hand between two of the bars. She wasn't moving. He hadn't seen a single twitch from her since he'd been allowed into the room. Carefully he allowed his hand to move to cover hers. Her skin was cold and clammy and he threaded his fingers through hers in an attempt to warm her. It was only then he realised that it was the first time in almost five months that he'd touched her. Sure, on the job, on a case, yes. But away from work, when it was just him and Kensi, just Kensi and G, it had been a long time.

"G" his partner's voice made him flinch for the second time that day and the thought made him wonder exactly when the nurse had left. He turned towards his partner but had no words for him. Still, they were well practiced in this by now and the ex-seal simply pulled a chair on the other side of the bed and eased down into it as his eyes ran over Kensi's pale form. They sat, and Callen knew they would until he spoke, until he was ready. Sam would wait.

Sam could feel the outline of his phone in his pocket as he sat and waited. He'd only just pushed it back in after hanging up from Michelle before entering the room. He'd updated her on Kensi's status and she'd told him to give Callen all her love. At the thought of his partner his eyes flickered upwards to take in the man slouched in the chair. His muscles were tensed, however, certainly not the posture of a relaxed man. Sam knew that he wanted to leave he could practically see him fighting the urge to run, holding himself to the chair. He could see the memories, the grief building within Callen and he thought his partner looked somewhat like a distressed, caged animal wanting to break free, wanting to escape. Not that he could blame him. This place held too many memories, too many horrors that none of them had dealt with least of all Kensi and Callen. And now, Sam wasn't entirely sure how this was happening, what was happening. Hadn't they been through enough.

"Deeks?" Sam nodded at Callen's question drawing in a breath before replying,

"He's okay, he's being discharged now, slight concussion and his got eight stitches in his shoulder but he's alright" Sam reported not taking his eyes of Kensi,

"What happened?" Callens' second question didn't surprise him; he'd all but interrogated Deeks after making sure the liaison was in fact going to be alright. He'd hovered in the background as they'd sewed his skin back together the doctors and nurses choosing to ignore his requests to be let go of. Sam had ended up growling something about staying still before the slightly dazed detective turned realising he was there. Sam had caught the flinch that told the ex-seal of the pain Deeks was still in but it was nothing when confronted with the desperation in Deeks' eyes.

"Kensi?" had been his question and Sam had sighed loudly before telling Deeks of the injuries they'd catalogued of Kensi's so far. He didn't include the unsettling grayness of her skin or the fact that a machine was forcing her lungs to inflate and deflate, taking breaths for her, he refused to mention of the murmurs he had caught about 'not waking up'.

"What happened out there Deeks?" Sam had asked once the medical teams had backed off slightly and Deeks hung his head as he recounted the afternoon.

"We couldn't hear anything through comms, didn't hear about the explosions. We were on the second floor still searching the place when the first one went off. The building just…blew apart behind us and the others clued us in. We got to the stairs we were almost out when the second one went off it was closer. I was out for a minute but when I came to we were under half the building" Sam didn't comment on Deeks' obvious slight exaggeration just waited for the man to continue,

"I couldn't find Kensi but she was trapped and something had hit her head, once we finally got out we were pushed out of the building. When the third one went off we were slammed forwards, didn't get away in time. We stumbled and she fell and then there was the hill and I couldn't stop her in time. Everything was so blurry" Sam nodded and laid a hand on Deeks' shoulder, assuring him he'd get the discharge forms organised.

Sam recounted Deeks' words to Callen who nodded. But he could see the guilt in Callen's eyes, the accountability. The remorse and the fear. It was the last that Sam could understand the most, after everything that had happened last time the team had been stuck in the hospital, the same hospital; it was almost unbearable for him to be there, to look at Kensi.

By the time Deeks' had escaped and made it into the room accompanied by Hetty, Nell, Eric and Nate had arrived and were grouped in the room.

"How is she?" he had asked frantically and the horror in his voice was heard by everyone as his eyes roamed over his partner,

"We're just waiting for her to wake up" Nate had answered having been filled in,

"They've taken her off the medications, she should wake up soon."

At that point they'd had no idea it would take so long.

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><p><strong>Hi guys sorry I've been away for soooooooooooooooo long. I've had a pot full of health issues, but I've just got home from hospital after having surgery that will hopefully solve all my problems! : ) well some of them at least which sounds good to me. At least get some energy back and my brain to get writing again, have I missed it : ).<strong>

**Hope you guys are still with me and please let me know if you're confused, cause I'm getting confused writing it (next chapter is almost done) as it goes across a few years and there's lots of flashbacks to include.**

**VERY IMPORTANT to keep an eye on the headings i.e. seven months ago etc.**

**But I hope you really enjoy it and hopefully I can get the next one up for you asap.**

**Oh and please review and let me know what you think! A wee bit of encouragement would do the world for me at the moment, and so I know you're still out there! Thank you**

**And thankyou all for you patience!**

**xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Remember When**

**Chapter 6**

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><p><em>Present Day<em>

Sam's spine shivered as an eerie sense of déjà vu enveloped him, making his blood run cold. He watched Callen in the chair beside her bed, Kensi's hand kept tightly in the senior agents' larger one. Deeks stood behind them, leaning against the white wall, his eyes fixed on his partner. They'd waited outside for a while longer before Jo returned to them and they'd followed her in taking up their places around her bed. There was still no movement and both men had the same trouble comprehending the fact that Kensi had awoken.

Sam's gaze moved from Callen taking in the woman that lay between them. His eyes found her face and her eyelids that were closed; he wondered how long she was going to make them wait to watch her open them. Open them for the first time in seven months, seven months of hell. Of waiting. Of visiting the hospital, of wondering if she could hear them when they spoke to her. He'd walked in on Callen's quiet words to her unconscious figure more than twice and to Deeks' louder ramblings. He'd found Hetty in the dark of the night sharing her tea and stories, hell Abby had spent several days curled up in the familiar arm chair that had been pushed into the room almost three months ago, talking to Kensi during her visit to LA. And now she was awake, she'd woken up. And it seemed impossible. Impossible to imagine. Yet they'd all been waiting for it to happen, they knew that there was no way Kensi was going to let herself spend too much time in a hospital, this was Kensi Blye after all. Well, Callen if he was to be accurate, Kensi Marie Callen. And he wanted to be accurate because he had been only too happy, overly happy in fact to stand beside his two best friends on their day.

_Three years earlier _

_Sam's eyes found his wifes' sparkling ones where she sat in the centre of the second row of white, wooden fold out chairs, behind Tony and McGee, and beside their three children who were shockingly well behaved. There'd been more people to invite than anyone had originally thought and while it was still a small, intimate occasion there were a decent group of people sitting before him all buzzing with an excited anticipation. _

_Michelle offered him a smile that he gladly returned only to turn when Callen shuffled beside him. He smirked towards his partner who just ignored his teasing and he caught his wife's stern look and grinned at her silent command to be nice to his 'almost nervous' best friend. And he had been, Callen had been very appreciative of the glass of scotch Sam had provided Deeks, Callen and Gibbs after the latter had made an appearance in the room. _

_His eyes swept over the group, smiling at Eric, Renko and Nate arguing over something or another. Gibbs and Abby sat beside Tony and McGee while Ducky, Palmer and the director, who'd fortunately given both teams a convenient leave of absence, sat behind them. Vance having what looked to be a very serious conversation with Sam's three year old, Leo. There were several empty seats in the front row waiting to be filled, one next to Nate, which was filled only minutes before the ceremony by a very windswept and apologetic coroner Rose Shwartz who grinned her apology and congratulations towards Callen, before quickly taking her seat beside Nate planting a kiss on his cheek. Several of Kensi's Dads' team mates and friends who Kensi had reunited with sat in the back along with Steve McGarett, Danny Williams, Chin and Kono who had flown in from Hawaii only the day before, all of them hitting the LA waves with Deeks and Eric that morning, after stopping by to check in on Kensi. _

_Even though they had been living together for almost eight months Abby had successfully gotten her way and Callen had been barred from his home for the entire twenty-four hours before the wedding. The wedding that nobody in their right mind would have predicted the months before hand, Hetty of course not included. _

_It wasn't long before low music floated in the air around them, and Callen took a deep breath accepting the encouraging nod he received from Gibbs, who had a small knowing smile, in the first row and chuckling along with the others at the excited squeak that came from DC's best forensic scientist sitting beside him. As the group turned in their seats to look behind them Sam placed a hand on Callens' shoulder who glanced at Deeks and then him before turning back to the front, knowing they had his back. _

_The sun was filtered perfectly between the tall trees which were shedding their autumn leaves like light rain. The air was comfortably warm as they stood in a secluded park the team had discovered over a year ago. It wasn't too far from ops and had acted as a meeting point for them many times, and a lunch stop. It was also the place where they had said goodbye to Dom as a team. And they knew that he was still with them, there to share the day with them. _

_Ziva David was the first one to emerge from the crumbling yet beautiful building that stood metres from where they were assembled beneath the white shades that swayed in the warm breeze. She did nothing but look beautiful in the teal dress she wore her eyes flicking to Tony who caught her gaze as she reached them. She smiled towards Callen planting a kiss on his cheek and then Nell Jones was following close behind her in an identical dress, holding a bunch of flowers. She too, met Callen and hugged him fiercely whispering that Kensi looked beautiful. He kissed her cheek when she pulled back and she smiled to the other two team members behind him before taking her place next to Ziva, catching Eric's smiling eyes. _

_Sams' hand was placed back on Callens' shoulder as the last figure emerged from the building and Sam heard Callen stop breathing realising too late that he had as well. Kensi's eyes swept over the group a small smile growing on her glossed lips as she walked arm in arm with Hetty towards them. Her dress was not big, or puffy, or princess-ey despite how Deeks had teased her in the previous months. It was however white, and elegant, and flowing, curving down her body. Her hair swept around her face and hung over her shoulder in light curls and she carried a similar small arrangement of flowers as Ziva and Nell. _

_Sam couldn't focus on his best friend any longer as he took in the woman who was his little sister; their Kensi Blye. Kensi Blye dressed up in white, a bride, Callen's bride. He smiled as happiness surged through him as she reached them. Hetty moved to embrace Callen taking the time to properly place Kensi's hand in his own, making Kensi smile. Sam knew that the operations manager only wanted the world for her two agents, a sentiment of which Sam could only firmly agree, and Hetty after all had been responsible for organising most of the details and making the plans come alive._

_Her eyes were glued to Callens' and Sam could see the love and excitement in them even though it was mixed with the slight nervousness he'd been seeing in the senior agents all morning. Her eyes flickered over her soon to be husbands shoulder and caught Deeks' drawing strength and love from her partner before they caught his own and she returned his smile before focusing back on Callen. _

"_Dear family and friends we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Kensi Blye and G Callen in marriage" _

_The ceremony hadn't lasted for long and Eric had moved around the chairs to take photos. They had voiced the traditional vows, they didn't need fancy words, they needed normal, and safe, and neither had been good with words when emotion was involved. And yet here they were. In sickness and in health, for better or for worse._

_Sam knew that everyone was just as caught up in the sight of Callen sliding a ring on Kensi's finger as he was, and even more so at the vision of a simple band on the fourth finger of Callen's left hand. They held a reception at the newly acquired residence of Callen. The backyard having been tastefully decorated thanks to Hetty and Abby. Still there was dancing and Renko had stolen Kensi from Hetty only to have Deeks sweep her away before Sam had finally wrapped her in a hug. There was food and drink and laughter well into the night. And more importantly there was Kensi and Callen, _

_as Kensi and Callen._

_Three years later_

Still that had all been so long ago and Sam wondered how they'd ended up where they were now. How the hell had the universe turned their lives so far upside down and sent them down the path it had. It was hard to believe it had been almost a year since they'd been blissfully happy. Since their lives had come crashing down around them.

Sam was pulled from his thoughts as the door opened once again and Callen only looked up to see Hetty, Nate, Nell and Eric move into the room before he turned back. They would be there, they would all be there, as a team when Kensi woke up. The clock upon the wall above Deeks' head ticked obnoxiously loudly as they waited.

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><p><strong>Hi guys, thanks so much for the reviews on the last chapter. I'm soooo relieved that you are enjoying it and I hope you like this chapter as well. Not much progress I know but hopefully I can get a few more chapters up soon!<strong>

**Let me know what you think of this one!**

**Thankyou xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Remember When**

**Chapter 7**

It took another three days for Kensi Blye to open her eyes once more. Seventy-two hours of waiting. Then again after waiting for seven months they supposed they could wait another seventy-two hours.

"Jo, she'll wake up right?" Deeks had asked fifty-two hours into the waiting, his heavy eyes focused on something far away even as he stared at Kensi. Callen had exited the room to visit the bathroom which was the only thing that could make him leave – well that and coffee, but that was only if no one else was around to refill his Styrofoam cup.

The nurse had turned to Deeks from where she observed the monitor beside Kensi's head and offered Deeks a small smile before her eyes flicked to the armchair where Nell Jones was curled up, her knees folded beneath her, sleeping soundly. A blanket had been draped over her after Deeks had helped himself to the linen trolley on the way back from his last bathroom break.

"She's recording much higher brain activity Deeks and there's increased retinal activity, she's responding to all the tests well, she should wake up soon it's only a matter of time. Her body is working hard at the moment, readying her to wake up"

It was only a matter of time. They'd heard it several times but it was continuously coupled with "There's no way to predict when". It was hard to believe that anything was really different. That anything had changed. Hard to believe Callen had really received that phone call.

In the end they can't predict it though. They don't know, can't know how long it will be and business as usual calls – while their world has stopped the one around them refuses to, sometimes Callen can't work out how it's possible. It feels like normal, and they hate to admit that it is their normal now. Normal that Kensi is laying in unconscious in a hospital bed. Normal that the beeping of hospital monitors had become white noise that continued to echo in their minds long after they leave the hospital; sometimes louder than the gunshots which usually haunts their nightmares.

Eric turns up just after midnight, after a text from Deeks, and gently shakes Nell awake after talking to the two men in the room for a moment, updating each other. The young analyst squeezes Deeks' shoulder thanking him for the blanket and wraps her arms around Callen's shoulders who turns and plants a kiss on her forehead before bidding her goodnight. They've all become closer in the wake of devastation that's left them in pieces. Eric leads her sleepy frame from the room.

Deeks leaves sometime before two am heading home with the promise of stopping in before returning to OSP yet Callen knows that the detective will be back before his early morning surf which has been sacrificed more often than not in the past months, he'll eat breakfast on the way in the car – something unsubstantial, but he supposes he's not one to talk. Jo is usually the one who reminds him, them to eat. The woman holds them together when they can't fix themselves – she does much more than she is paid for and Callen knows they got lucky. The doctors are good too, all thanks to Hetty of course who requires nothing less than the best, but it's Jo who they turn to, who knows Kensi. Who she is and how she is and if she's getting better. It is her that keeps their hope alive.

There's a small silver picture frame sitting on the standard grey bedside drawers next to Kensi's bed that Callen had long since turned to face the other way. Of the two of them. At around four-thirty am he raises his hand to turn it back into his line of vision and only then does he realise how violently his hands are shaking – can he blame it on the coffee?. His reflexes have slowed as well, and it shows only too well when the frame crashes to floor and shatters beneath his feet. His eyes fly to Kensi, finding her eyes, but she doesn't move and they're still closed and he sighs knowing that he already tried loud noises to wake her up before. The staff hadn't been too happy about that moment of frustration where he was certain just for a moment he could rouse his sleeping wife himself.

He looks down at the glass and is thankful that there are only large shards, deep, irreparable cracks along their faces. He picks it up and moves to the bin letting the glass slide away, removing the cracks, the shards, until only the picture is left. It falls forward slightly and a smaller square falls from behind it, fluttering to the ground like an autumn leaf in the wind. It lands on the floor butter side down of course and when Callen reaches down and flips it over his heart stops. His muscles tighten, his blood runs cold, a lump the size of an orange forms in his throat preventing him from taking another breathe, moisture wells in his eyes without permission, he's frozen in time, in place, bent over, reaching for the small photo that had been tucked into the frame, out of vision. He remembers when it was taken.

It had sat for almost a year above their fire place, the framed face always smiling widely at them, the blue eyes sparkling. At least until Callen had lost it, had finally taken to not being able to see it, to bare it. To look at it, and yet if he was in the room his eyes so alike the ones that would look back to him, would not be able to resist and would always without fail find the photo in the same frame that he now held. And so it had to go because his heart couldn't take anymore.

One year and two months ago

_He'd felt his shoulders drop as he turned into the driveway his grip tightening on the wheel. The drive was vacant, missing the other car. Kensi's car. He wondered where she was. He knew she'd come home eventually but had wished she'd been there. He'd wanted to see her. And didn't particularly want her to be alone. It had been a hard day. For both of them; for everyone. The case had obviously troubled Hetty and Nate who'd delivered the brief with hesitation. But it seemed as if the director had wanted the best team on it, a priority. And after everything that team remained them._

_Making quick work of the lock he allowed his keys to drop onto the table beside the front door. He didn't bother with the lights, silently moving into the living room and flopping down onto the couch sinking into the cushions. His hands ran over his head and he could hear a shrill scream of a mother, angry yells of a father and the cries of a child, a missing child, a hurt child. A child that they, the team, had only just managed to save. But they had. And he tried to hold onto that fact with the tips of his fingers as his mind began to lose grip of reality- they had saved her, Annie Jacobs was safe with her parents. Different screams filled his head, a mothers – too familiar. Familiar angry yells of fury and desperation that he could remember spewing from his own lips. And the cries – those were what had him leaping from the couch. He needed something to fill his hands, something to occupy his mind, to obliterate the thoughts creeping into his mind, threatening to drag him away to the place he refused to go. _

_Annie. Her blonde hair striped with red blood. Her face scratched and a large abrasion ripping the skin down her arm. His mind flashed to an image, one much more familiar, and much more chilling. That seemed to instantaneously freeze his veins. _

_He could see Kensi curled up in the middle of a bed, her arms wrapped protectively around a smaller body that was too pale. _

_He saw a pair of blood shot, teary eyes turn to him. _

_He could hear the small, quiet voice "Dada"_

_He could hear the crying._

_He watched Kensi collapse on the ground. _

_He felt the coldness of a tiny body. _

_He heard a small cry begging him to get rid of the pain. _

_He saw the ring he'd slid onto Kensi's finger the year before in the small boys hair, gently running her fingers through it. _

_Calming the small whimpers that echoed in his mind like shrill screams._

_His hands found a vase on the mantle his mind not registering that it had been a gift only that it was shattered over their floor a moment later. The large frame that sat beside it one of the team was next to smash against the far wall. There was a thump from somewhere above his head and somewhere in his mind he knew that Kensi was home. Unsure how but he didn't give himself time to think about it. All he could see was glass, glass shattered on their floorboards. His fingers gripped another, one of all three of them smiling happily. He couldn't see anymore as tears blurred his vision but he heard the glass splinter and rain down on the floor. He did however see the eyes, his eyes, sparkling from within the silver frame looking over the room. Ever happy. It went too, harder than the rest,_

"_G!" _

_Her voice remained unheard, _

_All he could see was the destruction he was causing. All he could see was the remains of shattered belongings, shattered parts of their life. And it set a fire in his veins that destroyed the iciness that threatened to destroy him. Pictures after picture, a painting, Santa Claus, a handprint. _

_And then she was there, her hands on his arms. Her touch was not forceful only ghosting along his skin – yet it was powerful enough to stop him in a way that nothing else could have. Later he would learn that Deeks had driven her home after she'd escaped ops, following her, to the park filled with ducks that had been left a little less fed…and chased since a little boy had stopped visiting. _

_It was then that he saw the blood, and it took a moment for Callen to realise it wasn't in his mind, it wasn't the blood on a tissue from a boy too young, or from a girl who'd been stolen in the night. It wasn't theirs, the nameless black clothed figures – and there'd been so much blood that night. _

_No it was Kensi's. And it was real. And that brought him crashing back into the world like nothing else could. He quickly found the trail she'd made as she'd tried to get to him, the shards of glass unavoidable. It didn't, however, appear to be bothering her; instead she was focused on his face. _

_He picked her up without thinking, sweeping her up into his arms and he heard the breath leave her lungs. The glass that had torn her feet apart crunched beneath his boots and he headed for the stairs leaving the destruction behind them. There were no words. But Callen only closed his eyes when he saw a green door that was left ajar. The first time he had seen it open since….._

_He walked faster past it almost stumbling on nothing, and into their room, into the adjoining bathroom. He worked in silence and he could feel her wide eyes following his every move. He picked the glass from her feet before flushing the blood away with water and wrapping a bandage around them. It was after he fixed the last piece of tape to hold the bandage that he felt moisture on his arm and his gaze snapped to her eyes. He swiped away the second tear that fell from her eyes before pulling her into his arms once more. He moved to the bed pulling them both on. It was only then, when he'd pulled her as close as possible and her hands fisted into the material of his shirt that he realised that he hadn't had her so close to him in weeks. What seemed like months. How he had missed her._

_A horrible empty pang filled him and he could only pull her closer as her tears thickened. He had no idea how long it was before either of them moved, still in silence and in darkness Coming down from the high and distraction of saving Annie Jacobs. But regardless Callen clearly saw the smiling blue eyes of the young boy when he took in the small photo Kensi had obviously retrieved from the ground, tucked in her hand. _

"_I miss him so much G" her voice was quiet, words croaked out. He closed his eyes feeling moisture on his chin, _

"_I can't look at him Kens" his voice broke and she wrapped her arms around his neck as his shoulders shook. _

Before he knew what was happening he was sat against the wall clutching the photo that he hadn't seen for so long, too long, since that night. His eyes looked up to see Kensi still, sound and he let his shoulders slump forward, remaining on the ground. There were too many things he hadn't seen, too many things that had been taken from him, that he'd been denied. That photo, his wife's eyes, his beautiful son.

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><p><strong>Hi guys, well I did get another chapter done yay. I was worried that it would my motivation would die off pretty quick but it appears that it only extends to my uni work : )<strong>

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'd love to know what you think!**

**Thank you and please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Remember When **

**Chapter eight**

He had no way of knowing what time he'd managed to pull himself from the floor, his shoulders ached uncomfortably from being stooped over for so long as did his jaw from the amount of time it had been clenched willing the darkness that had overcome the room to dissipate.

He'd stuffed the photo in his pocket before replacing the frame – minus the glass – to the drawers. A copy of Kensi's face and his own stared out over the room and the other photo was tucked safely away where he couldn't see it, where he could pretend it wasn't there. Pretend he'd never seen it.

He did know and would always remember, however, that it was at five fifty-five in the morning when Kensi Blye's eyelids began to flutter. His head was rested on the bed beside her waist his heavy eyes refusing to close. He'd leaned upwards slightly as he his trained eyes caught movement and it was only a moment later that her right hand, the opposite one that was enclosed in his own, twitched violently where it lay and his heart spasmed in his chest. The senior agents back straightened, suddenly on alert, yet he couldn't move, didn't dare move to press the red button which lay above her head, couldn't open his mouth to call the nurses – hopefully Jo hadn't yet left.

His eyes remained solely fixed to her own and he watched her eyes move rapidly beneath the skin. She began to blur before him and he could hear his own fast heart beat echoing around the room that became hot very quickly. His grip on her hand tightened, his thumb running over her knuckles.

"Kens" it was a whisper impossible for anyone to hear. But it was more than he'd ever seen before, more movement from the woman who never sat still for long, than he'd seen in so many months. Too many months. Again minutes passed without acknowledgement but then he was looking into her eyes. Her actual, chocolate brown, sparkling eyes that he'd only seen when the doctors had lifted her eyelids to check her pupils. All the air was expelled from his lungs and for just one moment he simply blinked at the vision before him. Seconds later he was leaning over her,

"Kensi" he watched as her eyelids continued to blink faster as if trying to clear something from her vision as she was brought back into the world. It was only then that he realised he was doing the same and that he could feel moisture welling in his eyes. But it had been too long, too long since he'd seen her awake, spoken to her and received a response, been on the end of the glare that could stop a storm, hell seen her smile and heard her laugh. No, instead he'd been listening to her wheezing breaths through a ventilator and imagining the things she would have said had she could. And he'd spent far too long wondering if she ever would.

It's takes a moment before he comprehends the other presence that has entered the room. He watches Jo move forward, her eyes focused on Kensi, and it's then that he remembers that the woman has never seen an awake Kensi. He realises she is teary as well as her voice fills the room, sooting Kensi. She lays her hand on her arm and encourages her to take deep breaths.

The junior agent has trouble focusing on her as her eyes flitter around the room, unfocused, but he can't blame her, not when her eyes have been closed for so long. It's only when they fly past him that they stop and zoom in. Kensi's confused gaze finds him and he doesn't register the louder voices in the room, or the lights being brightened, or the people swarming in when his eyes lock with hers. He only moves closer, standing from the chair to lean further in,

"I thought I was going to lose you" he hears his voice as if someone else is speaking. It doesn't sound like him. Kensi simply blinks her eyes still on him.

"I thought you were gone too" her fingers twitch in his hand and he feels one tear escape his right eye but doesn't pay it any mind. He'll shed a thousand if it means she can stay awake, he won't tempt fate now, not after everything. He brings her hand up and kisses it gently. Her eyes well and seem to calm, Jo nods and he continues to murmur quiet things to her as more things begin to happen. Nick, Kensi's neurologist jogs into the room and Callen catches the wide smile that flickers over his face before it is replaced with all business and he strides forward.

"Well hello Kensi, I've been waiting a long time to meet you, we all have" her eyes only leave his for a moment before returning to Callens and he squeezes her hand reassuringly,

"We're going to get that tube out of your throat Kensi, it won't take two seconds and you'll be much more comfortable" he says and Callen nods when he finds a spark of panic in her eyes. The doctors and nurses work around him, not once asking him to move or leave, but they've tried that before, several times, he's known in the hospital now. They probably have some sort of poster with his profile on it, some sort of modern day wanted poster.

He doesn't really keep up with the goings on around him, he's too caught up in her eyes. In her. It isn't until Nick speaks once more, Jo hovering close by that he forces himself back into the present,

"Ok Kensi can you tell me what day it is?" And yet with ten simple words Callen is catapulted backwards twelve months for several moments,

_His head was thumping so loudly he couldn't make out the words coming out of Deeks mouth. Or anyones for that matter. He squinted on the mans lips for only a second before remembering once again what he was supposed to be doing. As he turned his head right and then left his head erupted and lights danced on his eyelids making it even more difficult to see. _

_He'd managed to remove several doctors and security from himself before climbing out of bed, falling and then stumbling back up pushing away the hands that attempted to stop him, or maybe they were trying to help him. He didn't know, he didn't care. All he had to do was get out of the room. LAPD had been contacted he knew that from the various threats that had filtered through the haziness surrounding him. And then Deeks was there stopping them, doing something. Everything was strangely muted, noises, vision, everything, as if he was underwater. Thankfully Deeks had in fact noted the dangerous, unforgiving spark in Callen's eyes – even if it was slightly less malevolent than he'd seen before, but he'd quickly talked the security from stopping their attempts to restrain him –knowing that it wouldn't end well as he was sure a subdued Callen could still do as much damage. _

_He'd followed Callen from the room dutifully, to see Sam turn frowning deeply from where he stood peering into another room. Callen stumbled towards his partner knowing what he was looking for, knowing where it would be. Where they would be. Where his wife and son would be. He found them in the trauma rooms that were adjacent to his own, trauma one, two and three. One of the doorways was much more congested than the other so he stumbled towards the latter wanting some answers. His heart stopped, as did his feet on the ground when he laid eyes on the small body in the bed. _

"_Mr Callen you shouldn't be in here" yet he'd stumbled forward and rested a palm on the small cheek that had lost its normal flush. He'd yelled something unintelligible to the staff that were quick to reassure him that the small boy was okay. _

"_Mrs Callen can you tell me what day it is?" he heard the loud voice permeate through the buzzing noise that filled the hospital walls. _

"_Mrs Callen, Kensi can you just tell me what day it is?" the voice was louder this time, but his eyes were still fixed on his son. He knew what was wrong now, he knew that he'd be okay,_

"_WHERE IS MY SON" his eyes flicked upwards when he heard her voice. It was louder than the rest combined and he could hear the panic and devastation laced in her words. He heard Deeks' voice but it was drowned out by another, _

"_Kensi I need you to.." which was interrupted only by hers,_

"_WHERE IS MY SON…CALLEN, CALLEN" her yell had propelled him to drop a kiss on his sons forehead and send a glance to the staff who assured him he was safe once more. He forced himself to wrench his eyes away from their child, but he knew that he was safe. Sam stood in the corner of the room, unmoving. And he nodded to him stabilising him once only when Callen stumbled, but never telling his partner to go back to bed like everyone else was. _

_His eyes fell on Deeks who was still outside the room as more scrub-clad bodies moved in and out, dragging machines with them and filling out paperwork held against the walls. He managed to weave his way in Deeks close behind him, uncaring to the protests he was met with. _

_When her eyes fell upon him they bulged but hands held her shoulders down preventing her from getting up. His eyes swept over her body cataloguing every mark, bruise, cut and smudge of blood. There was lots, too much. Her face almost unrecognisable and bleeding, already stained purple. _

"_G" her voice was a whimper this time and it tore him in half in the most painful of ways. He stumbled to the bed sitting himself down on it as his stomach began to horribly twist and knot itself. _

"_Kensi, shh, Kens it's okay, he's okay" he said their fingers threading together. Her wrist was definitely broken and a large laceration was being carefully stitched on the other side of her body by a young man. _

"_Where is he?" her voice was only just calmer, _

"_He's in the other room he's still unconscious but he's fine. Absolutely fine, just bumps and bruises nothing broken, no bleeding" Callen said his throat burning painfully with every word. She let out a breathy sigh of relief falling back on the pillows, _

"_I have to see him" he shook his head,_

"_He's okay Kensi I promise" knowing there was no way she'd be able to get out of the bed. _

"_Kensi can you tell me what day it is" the man, scrub cap upon his head, clipboard in hand, was met with two scathing glares and didn't dare ask the question once more. _

He was so caught up in the memory, a million painful miles away, that he almost missed the confusion seep back into her eyes as she tried to work out the answer. He watches thoughts entering her mind faster than she can process them or control them and he knows she is having more trouble focusing on the question, rather than working it out. At least he things so. He quickly learns he's both right and wrong.

"Kensi do you remember what happened?"

"The case" he voice is raspy but his eyes fly to her mouth as her lips move. Her voice. The sound was hallelujah to his ears. And he only just managed to stop himself from sending her a dozen more questions. He knows she's confused and that it's the last thing she needs right then and there.

But the last thing he needs to hear is her answer, and it's only when his mind catches up to him that he realises what she means. He doesn't get the chance to interject though, to stop what he knows is coming because the newest arrival in the room, a grey haired man Callen has seen strutting the halls before that has pushed his way in front of Jo speak,

"It's been seven months Kensi" Callen hears her heave air into her lungs and her eyes bulge. Her lips move this time but no sound comes out. Her eyes panic and she finds his again but this time they don't calm. Instead her breathing quickens despite his reassurances, despite Jo's and Nicks. Despite anything. The oxygen is switched up a few levels when she begins to hyperventilate and he knows that it's not the ideal situation for someone who's just been breathing by a ventilator for months on end. Her eyes began to droop and he knows she's going to pass out. Hers meets his before she does. And he assures himself that she'll open them again. Soon.

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><p><strong>Hey guys, sorry it's been a couple of weeks, things are crazy here. Trying to catch up on uni work after my hospital visit but this was a welcome chance after a research critique which did turn my brain to slush so I am very sorry about any mistakes. I'm going to put it up anyway cause I can't do any more editing today and I want to give you something since it's been too long!<strong>

**Thanks, hope you like it and please reviewwwww!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Remember When**

**Chapter 9**

Somewhere between Kensi passing out once more and Deeks arriving for the morning she wakes again. Her eyes widen and he sits up straighter racking his mind for something to say. For a moment they simply stare at each other and Callen watches as she searches her own mind, piecing together everything that had happened. He knows he can't imagine what she is going through; he won't pretend that he does. But he will listen and learn. He'd learnt a lot since they'd gotten together. And listened a lot and shared a lot. In the end she beats him to it, her lips parting first to speak,

"He should be two now" her words slam into him like a semi trailer…full of concrete. They leave him breathless and his mind blank. His sudden lack of defences allow the thoughts and memories and images he usually manages to keep at bay to swarm. A familiar pain surges through his body, poisoning his blood until it infects every cell. Then he's only focusing on his hand because her fingers are threading through his own and with nothing else to do he grips them. He nods his head because she's right, he should be two….is two? Would have been two? He doesn't know the proper wording, the right phrase, the correct terms. He never has.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for it" she whispers and his eyes flicker back up to meet his. And for the first time in seven months he can see the pain in her eyes. The pain that hasn't dulled, that hasn't faded, the pain that was identical to his own. He wondered if it was horrible that the sight provided him with some comfort, soothing the ache within him slightly. He didn't want Kensi in pain, never had and he never would. In fact he would do anything to avoid it, and that's why it had been so hard, because no matter how hard he'd tried, kept trying, he'd never been able to rid her pain. But now it was comfort. Because she understood. She understood as nobody else did, as nobody else ever could. One tear dripped from the corner of her eyes and the numbness that had paralysed his body seemed to fade enough for him to raise an arm to brush it away,

"You're here now" he says and the corners of her lips twitch upwards just slightly. They don't say anything afterwards, instead they're hands stay enclosed in each others and he watches her steadily as her eyelids begin to droop once again. They'd never been huge talkers, at least not in comparison to Deeks, but since…it ….had happened words seemed to leave them even more often. Leave them to drown in the silence that surrounded them. That suffocated them.

There'd not always been silence. In fact, quite the opposite. For fifteen months the house that they still owned echoed with gurgles and laughter and half-formed words. Shouted mostly, because what was a better way to get the attention of parents?

_She felt arms snake around her middle and she grinned contently allowing her body to melt into the larger one positioned behind her. She could feel his warm breath on her skin and grinned when his lips brushed the skin beneath her ear,_

"_I'm glad we did this" G murmured into her skin and she nodded her eyes moving towards the window and her lips only curling into a larger smile when she caught sight of the tiny boy atop of Deeks' shoulders laughing happily clumps of her partners blonde hair between his fingers. They were all there and she, as her husband was, could only be thankful that they'd made the decision to have a big first birthday bash for the boy – not that they'd had that much choice between Deeks and Hetty, and Abby once she was in on it._

_Gibbs and the team including Palmer, Abby and Ducky had arrived mid-morning after Hetty, Sam, Deeks, Eric and Nell had all arrived at the Callen's house. Kensi had pulled the door open only to gasp at the crowd that had assembled on her doorstep before pulling them all inside and swatting Sam for not telling her. The DC team had made themselves at home, Abby swooping in on her platforms and sweeping Riley into her arms where he stayed for most of the morning. They'd all gathered to celebrate Riley's first birthday and Kensi couldn't have been happier. She knew that G was just as amazed with the family they had now as she was. They'd all been there apart from Renko, who'd used up his leave when Riley had been born, sticking around for three weeks afterwards._

_Callen tugged her arm, his fingers threading through her own before he pulled her towards the back door. _

"_Present time" he explained when she threw him a questioning look and she grinned as they made their way to the group Riley looking up and grinning widely when he laid eyes on his parents. Kensi felt her heart swell and plucked him from Deeks' grasp letting the boy wrap his chubby baby arms around her neck. She sat down on the grass beside her partner and thanked Sam who had laid the last of the gifts in a pile before them. She could only shake her head as she took in the mountain of cars and dinosaur giftwrap and ribbons – there was no doubt that this kid was spoilt. Kensi could only laugh as her elbow was nudged out the way and a fluffy head squeezed between her arm and her knee,_

"_Hey Monty" she received a big lick across the chin in response,_

"_mo..ty" Riley laughed as he received the same greeting from the dog before the canine settled his head on kensi's knee, close to Riley who had clutched a fist of fur between his fingers._

"_Alright little man let's see what you got" Kensi encouraged and Abby who sat on her other side clapped enthusiastically before handing the boy the first present and helping him to rip the paper open. The group laughed at the delight splayed across the boys face as he caught a glimpse of every new gift he until his eyes were wide as he took in the new toys and clothes – not knowing what to touch first._

_It was when Riley was sitting comfortably in his fathers' arms staring up in wonder at the remote control plane that was flying around their backyard, at Eric's direction (who looked smugly satisfied with Rileys amazement having just been chastised by Nell for getting a one year old a remote control plane) that the doorbell rang loudly through the house. For a moment Kensi, who stood with Deeks, Tony and Ziva and Callen's eyes met across the yard before they both simultaneously looked towards Hetty for the second time that day wondering what other surprises the operations manager had in stall._

_She, however, shook her head and Callen frowned before heading towards the door Sam placing his beer down before following. Once Riley had been placed safely with Kensi once again he walked inside and Kensi didn't miss the slight apprehension on his face. She was sure it was nothing, unexpected visitors could be just that but they were hardwired to suspect everything and never get too complacent. And since Riley had entered their lives they were even more cautious than usual. Kensi remembered the story that Sam had shared with them of following his daughters' school bus, she could only imagine what Callen would be like. Then again, she thought wryly, she'd probably be sitting beside him, or driving depending on who had won that day. _

_When she heard laughter she along with several of the other agents crammed into her backyard visibly relaxed. Turning towards the door her eyes considerably widened as she took in what she could see of her husband who was shielded by a large, very large, box wrapped in smiling dinosaur paper. _

"_What is that?" she asked struggling to keep her jaw closed as she took in the oversized gift. Sam, walking alongside his partner smiling reached towards the present and flicked over the small card attached to the bright red bow._

"_Happy Birthday little buddy. Hope you're still causing trouble for your folks, keep at it! Love Uncle Renko" Sam read and Kensi grinned before looking down at her son who was taking in the scene before him with wonder, _

"_Look little man" Kensi cooed as Callen placed the box in front of his family and laughed as Riley clapped his chubby little palms together happily._

_A warmth spread through his chest and as he and Kensi helped Riley to rip the paper from the box, laughing, he wondered how the hell he'd lived without it for so long._

The senior agent knew that it was a good thing that she was waking up more and more often, sleeping for less periods of time. They didn't speak when she woke again, though their hands remained tangled in each others. A sharp pain ebbed in Callen's chest as he began to remember the familiar hollowness that had been constant before Kensi had gone to sleep. Before that day, before the accident. And it was only in that moment that he realised that he'd been so preoccupied in his wife waking up, with her eyes opening, that he had never considered what it was she would be waking up to.

Him? Them? Was it even enough anymore.

She seemed to be more lucid than most of the times she'd come to before. He didn't need to reorient her to where she was or what day it was. A silence settled around them but it wasn't one that caused the hairs on his neck to stand or one that made his skin crawl. It was just quiet – at least on the outside. Inside Callen knew that there was much going on in his wifes mind. He could tell from the tormented look that tinged her eyes. He frowned slightly knowing that not so long ago she wouldn't have hesitated telling him, letting him in. Her voice was soft,

"I should be more scared about losing seven months" Callen knew he should agree, but he also knew that time meant little to nothing now. Without him time worked in ways it shouldn't, didn't. It sped up until weeks blended into passing months and then slowed to excruciatingly long seconds.

Somewhere inside him he knew that she'd accepted that she'd lost seven months of her life and he was glad that she'd not been reduced to a state of shock as the hospital staff had pre-warned him about and yet the cool, detached tone of Kensi's voice made him wince. Because she was still numb.

He laid his other hand over hers encasing her own in both of his before raising it to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss against her skin and watched her eyes flicker with what he didn't know. But she didn't pull away in fact she tightened her grip on him. It was the most intimate they'd been in almost eight months.

For a moment all was calm and he could almost pretend that they were here for a different reason. Too quickly his mind flicked through images of Kensi in a hospital bed for a different reason. He'd held her hand as he did now as she awoke but she'd only smiled when her eyes opened and landed on her husband and her tiny son curled up on Callen's chest.

"I saw him, I was with him G" her words shattered his memory. Her words shattered his thoughts sending them spiraling, along with his ability to answer. He simply stared at her for a moment before dropping her hand, his blood turning cold,

"I saw Riley G"

**Next chapter finallllly here. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!**

**Review?**


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